Open Competition 2013 Judge’s Report from Daljit Nagra

Kent & Sussex Poetry Society Competition 2013
Judge’s Report by Daljit Nagra
Judging a poetry competition offers several stages of pleasure. The first stage involves going through 1000+ poems in order to create a long-list of poems which deserve to be reread and considered as potential winners. These poems all contain elements of particular interest or surprise and their anonymity makes the process all the more intriguing. The second stage is pleasurable as it enables me to consider these entries in more depth. At this stage I discover new things about each poem and work through them again until I feel able to whittle them down to a shortlist; a good poem has its own driving thrill that animates the reader, whether it is emotional control, passion, cleverness, humour or the unexpectedness of the events. The next stage is often the hardest, and this competition was no exception; I have to choose a winner and rank the very best poems. All of the prize-winners below will offer readers a great deal of pleasure and the top three were of a particularly high standard. The final pleasure comes with notification of the winners’ names and the opportunity to meet them at the prize-giving ceremony. In addition of course is the knowledge that these poems will now be widely-read and enjoyed.
The winning poem had both technical and emotional skill in abundance, and it kept me engaged on first and subsequent readings. This Is Not a Garden is about a relationship under strain from the perspective of the woman involved. The poem hints at the repetitive style of the sestina and this repetition mirrors the trapped situation of the speaker. This is a moving yet tightly-controlled poem that gently and gradually reveals its sadness.
In a Dallas Laundry came a very close second. This witty and affecting poem set in a laundry offers a complex exploration of grief. The narrative cleverly develops a mundane scene of women observing a man neatly folding his clothes into a poignant comment on American military intervention in foreign wars and the grief of soldiers’ families. The poet skilfully controls the mood from comic to tragic without ever losing emotional control.
My third place poem was the lovely disciplines which is a pacey four-beat poem with breathless yet controlled lines about the ageing process. Precision characterisation which captures tactile moments makes the poem all the more heart-breaking as it evokes human fragility.
The first of my four runners-up is Incendio, a wonderfully dense, tight-knitted poem about a father counting grains of sand. The child is now parent to the father and helping him with his jigsaw. The achievement of the poem is the surprising final lines in the hypothetical voice of the father. Secondly, SOME VEHICLES IN SAN FRANCISCO is a lively poem about a woman who is keen to make new discoveries. She observes those who are dignified in the way they cope with the struggles of life. The poem’s moving qualities stem from the simplicity of the language. Thirdly Gardening With Deer is a quiet, elegiac lyric that creates mystery about a relationship. It suggests that only in a near-death moment do we come to appreciate those closest to us. The poem hints at various narratives through a beautifully described myth. Finally, Tiny, in all that immortal air is an energetic poem about the speaker’s daughter about to make her way into the adulthood of a bustling and scary-seeming city. The frenzied heightened language captures a parent’s elation and fear.
I trust the reader will enjoy reading all seven of these poems which show how high the standard was for the Kent & Sussex Poetry Competition.

 

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Prizewinning poems from our 2013 Poetry Competition

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Cheryl, Martyn, Daljit and Judy

First Prize:  Judy Brown     This Is Not a Garden

‘This garden, in fact, may not even be entered’      (from ‘A Guide to the Gardens of Kyoto’ by Mark Treib / Ron Herman)

This is not a yard, this is a garden:
new decking slatted over a tumble of roaches.
This is a yard full of potted tropical flora,
the lotus swimming in its own pool,
mosquito-eating fish guarding its stem.

I can’t know whether this is a yard
or a garden, though we ate out here last night,
the iPod snicking in its dock, soft lighting
making silhouettes behind the trellis.
This is not a garden, this outdoor, hosable sofa

or this bed where we never both sleep well.
It is a sort of park, public in places, this marriage
where amusements are scheduled and planned.
This garden, this marriage, is divided into rooms.
In some, others are welcome, like yourself.

This yard, this marriage, this bed, should be
like a garden – so many topics victim
to the secateurs. It should pass like a wave
through the seasons, appearing to be young
or else gnarled, wholly taken by age.

This man made this garden for me, whether
I liked it or not. After I had gone, he let it
go wild, to armoured holly and hawthorn,
the small beer of thugweeds, but in time
it will settle, a wiry daisy meadow, well-fenced.

Second prize:  Cheryl Moskowitz     In a Dallas Laundry

My man’s a hit at the Laundromat
Who’d have thought you could teach a boy
to fold that way, what a star! Cuffs
and creases in all the right places,

It’s the way the stripes line up just
right that gets them, every time. All
the ladies crowd around, woo-hooing,
He reminds me of mine says one

You should have seen him in his uniform
she’s full faced and bright cheeked
like they are from the New World.
I recall she says, taking her socks

from the drier and putting another
quarter in for the rest, Just after they
fired the rifles, and the boy with the bugle
played 
Oh she practically swayed

remembering it, the seven starched
men on the lawn not a button or seam
undone. How they pulled the cloth tight
between them. Like making up a hospital

bed she said. Cotton stars at one end,
red and white stripes at the other -
corner turned  upon corner till all
nine feet of it’s a single triangle of blue

Now that’s what I call presentation My husband
tucks away the final sleeve and the ladies
watch in admiration. We never use an iron
in our house, it’s true Don’t you lose that man

they tell me and fix us both with a stare
but their minds have drifted to another
place elsewhere to fallen sons and folded flags
I take the Daz and my husband holds his shirts

to his breast and salutes the women as we go.

Third Prize:  Martyn Crucefix          The lovely disciplines

See Ginny’s son and Ginny’s daughter-in-law
rest useless hands on the raised bed-rail

stare down to where Ginny writhes and squirms
her slender left arm reaching O so high

while her bare right calf lies crooked across
the cold retaining bar as lucky Jane all day

scuts with her bird-like legs folded under
to clear the turning wheels of her chair

while she roams the ward her working shoulders
pump each shove as if she’d tear herself clear

of the purple seat while Michaela’s throat
goes sucking great holes in the hospital air

and rubs itself raw till she’s like a bull-seal
honking on a distant shore she may have once

defended open-eyed though no-one here
believes Michaela will stir—no brighter hope

any more for Linda where she settles quiet
in her purple dressing-gown beside her bed

neat as a serviette her eyes fixed on a man
from her V of hands while he stares at her

from his V of hands the woman who he moved for years
coterminous with who now prefers

distance and darkness and being dumb . . .
O no more those lovely disciplines

we reassure ourselves it’s human to pursue
and no more those sweet acts of will

we treasure briefly or we take for granted
consoling ourselves that we will be spared

the horror of long blue rooms like these—
the slack and supine and all the twaddle

of decay and we persuade ourselves
that the truth need not be so bleak

as it seems for these who hold the floor today
who turn barely more than one leaf turns

in being blown to the gutter who seem
as nothing to themselves if more to others

who come with names they cannot let go
murmuring Ginny Michaela darling Linda Jane

Fourth prizes:

Patricia Ace     Tiny, in all that immortal air

From the fifth floor power-suited women in heels and helmets
balance briefcases on scooters as they race the lights on Diagonal.

The vendors saunter along the beach at Barcelonetta chanting
their mantra– cola, aqua, cervesa. The Asian girls offer tattoos or massage.

In the dark passages of The Born crones garbed in magician’s black
push cardboard signs towards tourists while their hands scour pockets.

The homeless, the alcoholic, the crazy veer from the shadows
like zombies. They seek out the flesh of those fresh from abroad.

Yet up here our host grows lemons on his terrace, the Palace so close
you could lean out and touch it. Cable cars coast over Mont Juique.

From the balcony, I watch my daughter walk towards the metro. I won’t
see her until Christmas; her blonde head blinks where it catches the sun.

From this height the city splays out like a ravenous dragon, chewing
up people, spitting them out. I watch until she becomes a dot, a speck.

 Pnina Shinebourne     Incendio

Sand pours down his eyelashes,
grains grit in his mouth   ears   nose,
sandwaves lick his feet –  two million
five hundred forty-two thousand three
hundred , my father, eight years old,
is counting sand (a myriad, he writes
in his arithmetic homework).
Slow-down-time, glare , dazzle –
incendio!  he tries the fire-making
spell, a broken mirror   catch the sun
Bits of his memory have drifted apart,
buried in sand, yet still breathing
undercover

His shoulders hunched over the table,
father and I are putting a jigsaw together.
Father studies the edges, carefully.
His mind a puzzle – how many ways
to fit fourteen pieces into a square?
how much peel to cover an orange?

But the formula is lost, his homework
sheets blown in the sandstorms
overlaid
by prayers for marriage, blessings, repentance.
If father could read the traces
of  another  life
peering from underneath,
I guess he’d say –
     give me a place to stand
                    and I will move the world.

Brian Docherty     SOME VEHICLES IN SAN FRANCISCO

Sarah is doing something she has wanted
to do since she was 14. She has strolled
through Golden Gate Park, where she saw
a fire engine on its way to or from a 911,
red & gold & gleaming; she is sure those
muscular young men must take such a pride
in their work, and she understands Lily
Hitchcock Coit’s fascination with hoses
& all the other paraphernalia of fire engines.

Then as she turns to cross the Panhandle
& go up Shrader, a genuine Hell’s Angel
putters past at no more than 20 mph,
his hair is long enough to escape his helmet,
his black beard is a flag in the breeze but
this is not Sonny Barger or Terry The Tramp;
did he notice her in his dentist’s mirror
while he psyched out Toyota drivers?

But the next vehicle that catches her eye
is a wheelchair piloted with careless expertise
by a grizzled amputee sporting a tattoo
tagging him as 51st Airborne Division,
a Vietnam vet she realises is her dad’s age.
He is overweight, his hair is greasy,
his clothes are stained, his eyes are red.

A bus stops, the man reverses his chair,
a ramp is lowered with deliberate speed,
he is neither helped nor hindered.
Haight St. is a Camden Lock clone complete
with street peoples’ Spare change mantra.
Time to call a Vets Cab to North Beach.

Kathy Miles     Gardening With Deer

And now you know for yourself how it is.
The ragged hours’ breathing,
long nights and longer days.
Watching her shift in her sleep,
as the moon turns and skies alter
and the ghost-trees of early morning
are heavy with frosted leaves
like a fruit of hanging doves.

A lifetime of gardening with deer,
their rough noses huffing
over the fence, nipping at the roses.
Apple and dogwood, linden and birch.
Fraying the bark of saplings
to remove the velvet, their heads
laid against the trunks. The stag
whipping the branches with his antlers.

All this is remembered in a still room
where the spirit of the white deer
with an arrow in his heart
walks through her dreamtime,
and the sweet musky sigh of roebuck
in the back of her throat
rises with every breath.
You hold her hand,
anxious, yet dreading her waking.

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Open Competition

Winners announced. Congratulations to them all!

First Prize    (£1000)                          Judy Brown               This is Not a Garden

Second   (£300)                               Cheryl Moskowitz    In a Dallas Laundry

Third   (£100)                                   Martin Crucefix         The Lovely Disciplines

Fourth  =  (£50 each)

Pnina Shinebourne            Incendio

Patricia Ace               Tiny, in all that immortal air

Kathy Miles               Gardening with Deer

Brian Docherty         SOME VEHICLES IN SAN FRANCISCO

On Tuesday, April 16th.  the prizes will be presented by the judge, Daljit Nagra, and the prizewinning poets will have the opportunity to read their poems.

 

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Open Competition

The competition has now closed. A big thank you to all those who entered. The results will be posted here in due course. Watch out for details of the next competition!

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Programme


Poetry at the Camden Centre
Tunbridge Wells

  

Programme –  2013/ 2014

 

 Readings  (open to all)

Main meetings on the third Tuesday of each month (except August) at The Camden Centre


 

June 18                     Little Machine (music and poetry)

July 16                       Open air meeting on Ashdown Forest. (Bring a poem on the theme of ‘Trees’) – Ring for details.

Aug                            BREAK

Sept 17                      Sue Hubbard

Oct 15                        AGM plus Sasha Dugdale talking about translation

Nov 19                       Dick Jones & Hilda Sheehan

Dec 17                       Memorial evening for Keith Francis plus Social

 

2014

Jan 21                        Our own members: Jemma Borg, Garry Ely, Margaret Beston

Feb 18                       TBA

March 18                   Pascale Petit announces competition winners and reads her own poetry

 

Readings start at 8pm. Visitors welcome. Admission to non-members :£3 (students £2)
The Camden Centre is situated in Market Square at the rear of The Royal Victoria Centre, Tunbridge Wells.
Locate with http://www.streetmap.co.uk Postcode: TN1 2SW

Writers’ ‘Workshop’ meetings (for Society members)
held on the first Tuesday of each month (except August) at various venues.
Further details from John Arnold (01892) 662781
Note NEW web site: http://www.kentandsussexpoetry.com e mail: info@kentandsussexpoetry.com

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Open Poetry Competition 2013

The deadline for the 2013 competition is 31st January 2013. The Judge is poet Daljit Nagra and he will read all the submissions.

First prize: £1,000
Second prize: £300
Third prize: £100
Plus 4 x £50

How to enter –

A. By post

1. The competition is open to anyone aged 16 and over.
2. Poems should be in English, unpublished, not accepted for publication, and must be your original work.
3. Poems may be on any subject and in any form or style. They must be typed and not longer than 40 lines.
4. Each poem must be typed on a separate sheet of A4 paper. All poems are judged anonymously and should not bear your name, nor any other form of identification. On a separate sheet of A4 paper you should give a: your name and address, b: a list of poems submitted, and c: where you heard about the competition.
5. Please enclose a stamped addressed envelope for receipt of entry if required (marked RECEIPT) or for results sheet (marked RESULTS – published mid-March 2013)
6. Any number of poems may be submitted on payment of the appropriate fee: £5 per poem, or for 3 or more poems £4 each. Cheques and postal orders should be made payable to KENT & SUSSEX POETRY SOCIETY. No stamps foreign currency accepted. Pounds Sterling or Sterling Drafts will be accepted.
7. The winners will be notified by post. No person may win more than one prize. The prize-winning poems will be published in the Society’s Poetry Folio in July 2013 (available £3 from the address below). Poems cannot be returned to the contestants. The decision of the adjudicator will be final, and there can be no correspondence concerning the result.
8. Entries should be addressed to: The Competition Organiser, 26 Courtlands, Teston, Maidstone, Kent, ME18 5AS.
Entry form not required. This leaflet may be photocopied. Or download details from our website.

B. On line

Rules as above but pay by Paypal (links below) and then e-mail your poems to us as an attachment. If you are submitting more than one poem please set them out on separate pages, together with a page giving giving your contact details and the list of titles.

Our e-mail is kentandsussexpoetry@gmail.com

No receipts will be sent. Winners will be contacted by post. Results will be published on our website mid-March.

Single Poem – £5

2 Poems – £10

3 Poems – £12

4 Poems – £16

5 Poems – £20

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News from Members – Richard Davies

A message from member, Richard Davies – his book, After Adlestrop is now available for sale. Here’s what he says about it:

My novel ‘After Adlestrop’ grew out of my poem ‘Leaving Adlestrop’ published in the 2009 Folio. In that I speculated that though Thomas wrote ‘no one came and no-one went’ maybe someone did leave the train. I could not get the idea out of my mind so wrote about a girl who got off to go in search of something new. Years later she gives an account of the extraordinary life she was able to lead as a result. I have self-published using YouWriteOn.com and FeedARead.com because I could not find an agent or a publisher to take it on. It is available from bookshops and Amazon and as an e-book. If anyone is thinking of going down the self-publishing route they might like to take a look at my book and then seek my advice on how to go about it if they think I could help.

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